HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

 Padma and I were married over three decades back in Varanasi in May when the temperature hovers above 40 degrees Centigrade. The total attendees were not more than 25. The priests chanted all the prayers probably required under Brahma Marriage (first of the 8 types of marriage under Manusmriti). It was spread over two days where Padma and I sat in front of the holy fire and inhaled good quantity of ghee laden smoke.  In the afternoon, the priest told us to take a Tonga ride to the Varanasi Vishwanath Temple – all by ourselves- which was the first time I spoke to her ( I officially  held her hands  earlier during the Panigrahanam ceremony). At night , after chanting some more prayers and inhaling additional  ghee laden smoke, he showed us the Arundhati star, gave us a exquisite tasting Paan ( betel leaf with areca nut and other sweet ingredients)  advised us to enter grahsthashram in a more active manner (rather than just holding hands and conversing during Tonga ride).

This was the start of a new and the most important relationship of our lives. Two total strangers selected on a random elimination process (star, horoscope, sub caste) staying 2000 kms away from each other were directed to make certain vows and start their life together. Are arranged marriages(defined in Wikipedia as “a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of person to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship”) the sole example of important relationships in life commencing due to caprice of fate or chance?

Swami Udit Chaitanya  (don’t think ‘Oh God! Not that Swamiji again’ , he is a bright chap and does not keep flowing beard and wear white Egyptian Cotton dresses) says that children chose their parents. The souls in transit from one life to another (some what like Hritik Roshan searching for next magnum opus after Agneepath) and searches for an appropriate home. If they like the choice they have exercised, then they continue there. If not they leave this home and go elsewhere.  When I first heard this, I remembered the smile of our Grandson Shivam when he first saw us few hours after he was born.   Did we exercise similar choice ? Were there better choices ? Quite intriguing questions if Swamiji’s theory is correct.

My earliest memories include my elder brother. He tells me that when visitors threatened to take me away (when I was a new born) he would protest vociferously. The protective spirit is inherent in a blood relationship. I  remember my brother instinctively holding my wrist when crossing the road even when not needed. But what is more important is the implanted instinct to protect, support, cheer and in short share with the siblings at all the great and  not so moments of life. While as a concept it is easily understood by all, its’ implementation is  sometimes sparsely seen. When this spirit exists, then it does represent the most valuable element of our existence. With such a backing, anyone can face the world in times to crisis. I speak from personal experience. This makes all the difference when faced with difficult decision points in life.

The next set of relationship is with the larger extended family around us. In Indian context, it means uncles, aunts, cousins, their respective spouses and so on from your parent’s side and spouse’s side. Considering the lack of employment opportunities in villages, most of these relatives would be settled in different cities and meeting them would in marriages (unlike mine) or such functions or rare sojourns to these places. In such cases, distance does not necessarily make the heart grow fonder. The closeness emerges from facing common issues in life- teenage children, higher education, marriage, grand children, health, aged parents and so on.  Age, experience  and existence  of unmarried adult children is a great leveler.

For consummating marriages there are enough examples of ‘off line network’  (mostly of women who have astounding memory for details of relatives and their children- especially awaiting the throes of marriage) which can beat SMS or Tweets in terms of speed and completeness. (“Laxmi’s daughter is 2.., just back from States , not so dark, but good income…’).

 In the late afternoon of life, we are able to relax and exchange notes on our experiences ,idiosyncrasies (‘I drink one litre of water in the morning’), views and what we desire for our children. My belief is that with cousins we are able to identify some  common weaknesses and strength by instinct and thereby share a bond which can be renewed even after gaps in time. There is  pleasure in meeting close relatives during various visits to South India (where most of our relatives live) as there is a sense of belonging to a larger family and shared memories.

Relationship with parents is complex and continues even after they leave us in a permanent manner. I remember reading the following on some occasion. When we are small kids, our parents are Gods, they can do anything. When we grow up a little, we know that they are not Gods. When we cross teenage , we hate them and quarrel with them as they seem to  have wrong and outdated ideas. When they grow older, we start loving them again. After they pass away, we pardon or forget all their weaknesses and  say there are none like them. Our father mellowed by the time grandchildren were born and they benefited from it. He left behind a positive impression and influence on them.

While we are always parents for our children, the nature of relationship evolves or changes over time. The emotional aspect of the relationship is complex and very subjective. Every parent dreams big for their progeny  (in a material world IIT, IIM, MBA, CA and so on and then to be a good human being). At some juncture we realize the finiteness of the dream and attempt to reconcile. The more difficult part is the mutual expectations and how to meet them.  In today’s situation of nuclear family and longevity of age, it is not uncommon for a parent to have children who served and superannuated in the normal course. In other words, a parent witnesses a large part of their progeny’s life cycle. How does one sustain a relationship over such long periods when confronted with the compulsions of own life?  We see many examples of  senior citizens who prefer the comfort of familiar surroundings of the place where they have lived all their life rather than re-locate to where their progeny lives.  The situation is more complex in case of children living/settled overseas and parents being needed for looking after grand children.

Relationship is about making life more beautiful to live. It is about there being more human beings who care about all of us. It also means that a meaningful effort needs to be put in to nurture and sustain any relationship over a long period of time. It becomes very relevant in today’s context when our children are growing in an environment where education, employment, material success take precedence over everything. Being emigrants and living  in other than the home state or abroad shrinks the circle of families who know you and more importantly whom you know. The pleasure to joining a celebration with others who share many matters and memories with you cannot be substituted very easily.

Lastly only when you love your own people would you know how to love others around you.

What do you feel?

 

Selection Process and Thereafter.

Would your mother or aunt pull the hair of prospective bride you are selecting? Well, imagine a scene in a living room in one of the metros- say Mumbai. The bride demurely brings in a tray laden with snacks, keeps it gently in centre table and walks back slowly. The eyes are down cast and tries to look fleetingly at the groom and slides into a curtained room. The mother and aunt walk purposefully into the curtained room. A few minutes later there is a shriek- ahaa- ahaa. It is hair pulling ceremony. The men in the living room who look alarmed are now pacified by informing about this ceremony.

A few minutes later a frightened voice trying to sing an out of place song- oh sanam oh sanam- is heard. The men stop speaking wondering what is the need to sing a new film song at such a serious moment. They are reassured that this is voice testing.

This is how brides were selected not too long in the past. It seems to be not unlike buying cattle. I imagine doing this now and what reaction it would evoke. I try to think what would have happened if we had tried similar antics in any of the recent marriages in our family.

What has changed now? Has human expectations from matrimony changed? Do we view relationships among close family members differently now?

Yes, things have changed. The main change is education , economic and social expectations. What has remain unchanged is the emotional craving for closeness, companionship, sharing, mental and physical compatibility between spouses. But the time we devote to such activities seem to be reduced. A very senior executive of my employer who always appears relaxed and smiling gave a very interesting answer to a question on how he unwinds or relaxes. He said that he spends time with his wife and also with a pet dog. It was an endearing answer and certainly makes all of us think of our relationship with our spouse and children.

I had always believed that relationship between a working couple is different from that in which only the male member is working. Today looking at the world around us, I am not so sure. I think human beings take their environment for granted. Both partners earning a living is mostly incidental to the relationship. There could be ego issues. But finally the bottom line is that the couple living in Reykjavik –capital of Iceland- have the same emotional expectations as those living in Hissar in Haryana (excepting those characters in Na Aana is Desh Mein Lado- a serial in Colors T V Channel).

I sometimes wonder about what would be life if career or profession becomes an all consuming passion. The power point presentation at tomorrow’s meeting (MD would be present along with foreign JV Partners) is to be a game and life changer. MD would smile and say “good job done”. Colleagues would look at you enviously. Then life goes by. What do such a couple think on a Sunday evening when the rains are pouring (just as it is now when I am writing) and the excitement and challenge of working life is waning? Would the latest Bose Home Theatre system (basic set costs Rs. 2 lacs) give the same excitement as watching your own child whizzing past making a noise like a flying jet plane and the living room strewn with toys?

There are no answers. My belief after seeing my grandson Shivam is that watching a new life grow is the greatest gift God gives to human being. Having an opportunity to be part of the journey of that new life is the greatest pleasure that a human being enjoys.

What do you say?

2010- The Year So Far

I got the following e mail today. I felt it would provoke some genuine laughter for all married couples. So I am starting my blog with it.

CLASSES FOR WOMEN…. Training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

Topic 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Topic 2 Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort, not the First

Topic 3. Communication Skills II: Getting what you want without Nagging

Topic 4. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! ALL ARE WELCOME! OPEN TO MEN ONLY!
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Evening classes for men. Starting this month!

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

Topic 1. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health: Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 2. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife: Online class and role playing.

Topic 3. How to be the ideal shopping companion: Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 4. How to fight cerebral atrophy: Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you’re going to be late.

The above questions and answers illustrate – with great humor- the gap that require to be filled in any marriage or any other form of co-habitation between man and woman. Perhaps, it applies to any two human beings living together. But the intensity of relationship between spouses put it another plane altogether.

What has 2010 brought for me? Well it started with a brief trip to Bangkok and Singapore. While Bangkok reminds one of a city on the make, Singapore gives a finished and polished look. The mandatory visit to Mufstafa Market highlighted the desires of Indian visitors. Most of the items were what an average middle class Indian would long to buy. The dresses were down market items which we would get in Mumbai. Of course, the main attraction in Little India is the Indian restaurants.What would strike any Indian visitor to these places would be the quality of basic infrastructure available. While India is a much larger country and strictly not comparable, still we could at least expect that some of the larger metros had similar infrastructure facilities available long back. Anyway, better late than never.

I renewed my familiarity with train journey due to Johny’s brief leave. So, instead of driving, I felt travelling by train would be faster and less strenuous than driving in dense traffic in the evening. This is true, especially in the evening as the train takes only 55 minutes to reach my destination station and in another seven minutes I am home. There is added pleasure of sitting and reading novel or magazine without sudden jerks and stops. I thought this was the end of my train journey. But nature and others willed otherwise. A few urchins in a spirit of celebrating Holi festival threw a stone (like a fast bowler) which fell on my windshield. By the time I could give it for repairs few sticks from a tall tree also fell on it to increase the earlier cracks.

Now, every morning I look with some degree of trepidation at the mango tree in the neighboring compound, which has willfully tilted to our compound. It has several big mangoes hanging gracefully just above my car, but at a great height. I hope these mangoes fall on the earth rather than my car. Last year a mango fell on my wind shield with the kind of results described earlier.

Slowly India is moving towards a stage where every citizen should compulsorily have a proof of identity and address, without which he or she is a person without identity. I realized this during a property transaction. Whether we pay income tax or not, PAN Card is a must. Ration card surprisingly is a proof of address. I wonder what persons in transferable jobs do? In Mumbai, we need to keep Ration Card not for getting rations (are we in war time that food grains should be rationed out?), but just to prove your identity, address, existence etc. So I have a white ration card (cover is of white color). This card entitles you to nothing except serving as a proof of identity and residence. Government of Maharashtra issued an incomprehensible circular requiring all card holders to fill up some form and submit it. The ration shop employee would give the form only to the first named person in the card and not to anyone else. Some days passed this way. Then a newspaper clarification was issued that only non-white card holders (who are said to be misusing the “privileges” of the card) need to undergo this arduous exercise.

Bride searching is pleasant past time for those who have crossed the half century mark- unless it is for their own children. What do today’s youth aspire for in their spouse? I looked thru some ads when a relative wanted to put one for his child. I found that men need their prospective bride to be tall (unless they themselves are of shorter height), fair, slim, employed, domestically trained (reminds me of puppies), home loving, religious, traditional yet modern, respecting elders, having a sense of humor and finally well employed. What do women want? Well employed, clean habits (meaning no drinks etc and not just washing hands and legs frequently), articulate, understanding, loving, sharing, allowing the bride to work after marriage (supportive of career aspirations), having a sense of humor, professionally qualified (profession is also sometimes specified), would be a son to her parents (hey, what about the original parents?) and so on. The list is only illustrative and in true Indian tradition hides more than it displays.

Sri Narayanamurthy (Infosys fame) has ensured that the only educational course worth studying (especially during 90s and early this century) is IT. So all prospective brides are IT Engineers, a good percentage of them in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Connecticut, and New York, Netherlands. The rest have made do with Chennai, Hyderabad and of course Bangalore. It seems that the specialty of this profession is that an IT youth is compatible only with another person belonging to this genre and that too in a specified geography. I had seen this requirement for medical doctors, now I am seeing it for this profession too. While this profession has lost its glamour now due to stupidity of some Bankers in USA and others of their ilk, the damage is already done. The babies already born and to be born would have a mental image of their mother in which the laptop (aren’t there better animate and inanimate things to put on your lap) is an integral part. The baby would be wondering why instead of I, the machine is spending so much time in my mother’s lap.

What puzzles me is how a happiness of a human being in an arranged marriage can be tied down to the spouse not only belonging to a specified profession but also a location. (My daughter/son is an engineer based at BLR/CHE/HYD and we are restricting our search to this/these city/cities). So relocation post marriage to Calcutta or Jaipur or Mumbai CANNOT give any happiness, but staying in the same city or another IT Friendly City after marriage to another IT Engineer can give lifelong guaranteed ecstasy.

Is this a correct view of life? I do not know. But the contradictions emerging out of an otherwise traditional society catching up with a westernized economy and its way of life is slowly becoming apparent. We educate our children without any gender difference. We encourage them to compete with the rest of the world. Then comes the age to tie up a person of opposite gender from the same religion, caste, sub-caste, star, matching horoscope, social and income standing, profession and so on.

The western concept of free choice some times (not all the time) smacks of what human beings did at the beginning of civilization and what other mammals still do (as seen in Discovery channel and Animal Planet).Spouse searching (is hunting a better or more correct word?) based on some compatibility norms –mental and material- seems to be a time tested and more intuitive and sophisticated system where there is a veto at every stage for the players concerned. There is an arbitrary elimination process in horoscope, sub caste and such norms so as to reduce the choice to an acceptable level (we need only one spouse and not several). The process of making choices gives awareness of our needs and pitfalls in approaches. Finally, in true Indian spirit, we also give God a chance so that there is somebody we can blame if things do not work out due to our foolishness or lack of intelligence.

I came across some blogs of expatriate women living in India after marrying an Indian. Besides being well written, with good humor woven into it, they are also interesting as they give an outsider’s view of life of an Indian home maker. I am giving the links below.

http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/

http://auroracoda.wordpress.com/

They are worth reading.

What else has happened in my life in 2010 which is worth recounting? My cable connection got converted into a set top one giving me access to nearly 200 channels. Most importantly, all south Indian channels (madras channel to use the local lingo) are now available.

Shivam- my over two and half year old grandson- has become quite articulate and tires everyone by asking questions. He is able to charm everyone around him who tolerates his antics. He sang two rhymes on radio as a part of the toddler team of his nursery school.

My daughter Gayatri learnt to drive two wheeler. Like me she is expert in not learning mechanical things at first go. Now she can terrorise Coimbatore citizens with a two wheeler. She tells me Shivam looks at her doubtfully when she is in the driver’s seat and expresses hesitation in joining her. Perhaps he is chivalrous and is giving an advance promise of driving her round in a larger vehicle. Or, perhaps he may be the author of the first part of this blog in his previous birth.

Bringing up children-I

Every union should produce results. Progeny is one of the results of marriage- at least an expected result. Every newly married couple face overt or covert questions about their “plans”. Any delay beyond 3 years causes great consternation to the families of the couple first and then finally to the couple.
All this creates a psychological need to have a child or children. The initial clarity during the mating period of waiting for few years, settling in respective careers, purchase of dwelling etc. may have been achieved or could be in process. But now the need for a child becomes supreme.

The conception takes place. I have a vague impression that women do have hesitation or some apprehensions about the entire pregnancy and delivery process. Most males disregard these apprehensions and the emotional and psychological coercion is enough for the women to cross this hurdle.

The child arrives. Respective in laws troop in with broad smiles and a realisation of being grand parents. Those who become grand parents before reaching the age of 60, mentally tell themselves that “we are like students who pass CA or IIT Entrance in first attempt while others who still troop to school with their children� or run around for admissions to colleges are slow starters. But we are young grandparents. Old age associated with the status of being grandparents is not applicable to us”.

Mothers are conferred an almost divine status in India.� One story I heard in justification of this status is something like this. One young student questioned placing mother first in the statement “Mata, pita, guru, deivam.” The guru who was smart delayed the reply. After a few days, the guru asked the student to take a brick, tie it around his waist and go to the well and fetch water several times. The well was obviously at some distance. After the student got exhausted, the guru informed the student that� a pregnant mother carries the child similarly for nine months and hence they get this status. A typical Indian story which justifies the age old statement.

Western civilisation has not placed such exalted status on parents. Probably they are seen as the medium thru which the life is created on the earth and the medium is like a vessel we use for cooking. The food is more important than the vessel.

The mother now gets to see the life which was floating around in her belly. She is intially wonder struck. Then the awareness sinks in about her primary responsiblity. Feeding a child at 12.30 am or 4 am is not something any human being can get excited about for weeks and months. The excitement of working as an executive in an air conditioned office is more palpable than cleaning a baby who will learn sanitary habits after some years. She wonders”God, why does any one say all this is exciting?”. The situation of Indians who have emigrated to middle east or USA etc. is even more difficult. These countires have strict laws for child care. Some countries insist on full time attendant till one year of age (this is what I understand).

The role of father at this stage is crucial. Few have any prior experience. They are forced to learn by trial and error. Many� families erroneously do not educate their sons to be aware of basic domestic chores. So they land up in family life without any knowledge of the drudgery involved in maintaining a house in a nuclear family.

I believe that it is at this stage the next foundation of family life is laid. Couple who work together (whether both are employed or only one is employed) and share responsiblities build a stronger edifice of their marriage. The children watch and instinctively understand how their family lives and adapt accordingly. If the responsiblites get shifted to outside family members like in-laws or servants, then the� pattern changes. We see distorted behaviour from the children. Excessive tantrums, need to seek attention of one or both the parents whenver they are present, inablity to mix or be comfortable in a large group are some of the visible external symptoms.

I cannot claim any memory of my two children’s early years. It all seems to be a blur now. When I watch my grandson grow, I feel a twinge of regret at not noticing and storing these memories at least in the brain. Cameras were expensive then and so there are few photos of those times.� Now Picasa contains a few hundred or thousand photos of various antics of my grand son. Most mothers would tell you that the first three years of the child are difficult but rewarding. Creation of life and its growth is still one of the greaterst wonder in this world. The efforts we put in these early years yeild visible results. The exuberance of the child, its curiosity in exploring the world around it, lack of any fear or knowledge of danger gives the greatest pleasure. One of the memorable photos of my grandson (when he was less than a year) is his smile when he turns around to look at me before trying to pluck the AC plug from the socket.

Today’s world does not give any educated person the time or privelege to think on such things. Success brings its own material rewards and satisfaction. It requires great courage to step aside from such a path to enjoy such pleasures. Children demand lot of emotional attention. Our city life drains out our quota of Emotional Quotient leaving little for our family. This is where the distance with children/family starts building up.

(Continued)

Bringing up children II

When do children grow up? Perhaps when they start asking questions about the life we lead. Children consciously or unconsciously imitate parents in the early stages. At some point they question us- do we have to pray everyday? Do we have to write homework at 7.30 every day? Cant’ we have the toy or something else his or her friend has? Slowly we have to set the boundaries within which we have to live. How does a parent explain that they cannot afford a particular expense as it is beyond them? I remember such a situation when my daughter asked for legitimate expense and I could not afford it at that time. I do not think I gave a correct answer.
There is always a debate between quality time and quantity time devoted to children. In a traditional family, the father went to office to make a living and mother looked after the hearth. So father’s time was quality time. Children’s bondage with father was� perhaps limited due to the then prevailing environment. This is evident from some of the movies we see of the 60s and 70s in any Indian language. Today, with both parents employed in many cases,� the distance or closeness could be the same.

My belief is that children react well to a relationship where the parents are capable of receiving the confidences of their children. They should trust their parents sufficiently enough to exchange their innermost fears and receive emotional and physical support.� This is more easily said than done. This requires a long period of communication at a seemingly equal level without losing the basic authority as parents. Today’s parents do assist in homework, projects,exams and other burdens of today’s schooling process. Do they gain their children’s confidence in this process is a moot point.

I saw one TV Debate program on parent’s involvement in their children post school education- Science or commerce, engineering or medicine and so on. The program had parents and children on opposite sides of the debate. The vehemence of the children on the negative influence of parents on compelling choice of the education stream was quite an eye opener. The education expert – a college principal- said that we should trust over children with the choice they make and not second guess them. They generally know what they want and we should guide them only when they start expressing their doubts or seek help.

My wife has an interesting view on how teenagers and young adults fall in love. She says that when the children lack emotional support or live in an emotional vacuum in the house, they seek an alternative outside the house. This is how love develops. In many cases, this seems to be true. I have seen children whose parents live in a different era and perhaps are not able to relate to their children’s emotional demands. Parents live in an orthodox yesterday era- where passbooks are reconciled on monthly basis, eating out should be out sheer necessity, new dresses are purchased for birthday, Deepavali and school re-opening. Marriage anniversary means visit to the nearby temple and then going to office. For children, Mcdonald is a fashion statement to be made, Coffee Day is THE PLACE to be seen wearing a jeans and latest tops with members of opposite sex. Spending a few hundred rupees on such an outing is normal. Would we have spent the equivalent of Rs 450 for our birthday party (what is party by the way?) say 35 years or 25 years back? I am told this is quite normal today. Cafe Coffee Day is the place for a small birth day party- the cappucino costs not less thant Rs. 30 or Rs. 35 per cup.

It is in such environment that love blossoms. If not love, at least rebellion against the ESTABLISHMENT. Long hair, awful looking half pants or three quarter pants, odd upper garments, skin hugging dresses which give quite the opposite message of the person’s character ( an otherwise timid person may look like today’s starlet in some youth oriented movie).

Is falling in love wrong ? (QSQT with Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla or Jane tu with Imran Khan to quote a more modern example). No, love is a beautiful emotion without which life is not worth living. But falling in love at the age of 18 or 21 seems premature- especially in Indian context. Everything is a struggle here- unlike abroad. Choice of educational stream, admissions, quality of teaching, post graduate education, employment, choice of city or town or metro for employment, accommodation, transport- basic things in life which are taken for granted abroad, pose insurmountable problems for most young adults. Love seems to be a needless distraction in such an environment. Take admission for engineering, Medicine or any other such professional courses as an example. Each State has got its own peculiarity. Every year there is some litigation to arrest or mar the admission process at the penultimate stage. There is some Government subsidy for such education, but there is some thing called private college also. In such an environment, the parent struggles to meet their children’s expectations, their own economic strength or lack of it and matching their children’s marks with that of the demands of the educational institution. In such a situation, when a parent hears about a love affair (of any one else) then there is genuine astonishment on how does any one get time or energy to get involved in such activities at such an young age.

Lastly, do children who have become full fledeged adults (crossed the age of 25 in my belief) need or expect our influence or emotional help. I think yes. But this line is thin. We cannot aggressively intrude into their emotional territory (“don’t be pakao”), nor can we be in an indifferent stranger’s domain. We need to understand the turmoil going through their brain and heart and respond sensitively. We have ourselves passed thru this stage -perhaps without much parental support. So it is easier to assess their needs and probe gently -like� a doctor examining an open or an internal wound. It is not easy as now they are a closed book written in a foreign language (or like prayers we recite in Sanskrit- we understand the meaning in a limited manner). For eg. what do we tell a married son or daughter about the difficulties we face in a marriage? What do we tell about the screaming babies (see my earlier blog) and feeding them at 2 am in night and the support they can expect from their spouse? I often wonder about this. My feeling is that mothers are more forthright in these things and put the matter in a manner which would put their backs up. There would be grudging acceptance later.

I think it is a life long relationship. Children reamain children for parents whatever be the age. When I used to come home late from office, my father, who was well into his 80s, would remain awake and pester my wife about when I would come. When I reached home, he would confirm that I have reached and then go to sleep. I could not then understand his anxiety. Today I understand it and want to tell him that I understand the deep love and affection that lay behind his non expressive demanor. But for that I have to go to another world.

Do you agree or disagree? Either way, do respond.